Battery. Technology's worst enemy. Moore's law says the number of transistor in a square inch of an IC doubles every 18 months. Processors got better, graphics got better, storage got f**king huge and cheap but batteries, batteries always stays the same. Cause there's nothing bout that battery anyone bothers changing. It only get bigger and bigger in capacity but still only last you for about a day.
Well, Android s**theads always argue that their $900 device got fast charging, wireless charging, kung fu kame hame ha charging that gay apple users doesn't have. Hell, you paid $900 for a piece of junk so you better have fast charging for that big shift+244 battery, (insert yo momma joke here) or you'll be so f**king cool stuck to the wall whole day while the screen your eyes can't tell the difference and all the s**tty bloatware drains all the juice. I love samsung stock app, says no one ever.
I don't know why apple doesn't want to take the credit for fast charging cause iphones have fast charging ever since ipad was launch. Long before samsung and rest of android army brags about it. All apple worshipers know, just use the ipad charger, or just plug into that 2.1A port on your power bank.
But we all know the more fast charging you use, the nearer the battery is to hell. Batteries over time bound to f**k up. Some phone f**ked up faster than others, like the f**king note 7. Holding less charges, drains faster and faster, starts to swell and buldge, and worst goes f**king note 7 on your shift+244. And fast charging speeds up that process, by a lot.
And please stop saying iphone is for the rich. Yes, it's a lot more expensive than most of s**tty android phones out there. But this thing f**king last, like a duracell bunny on viagra. Cause I'm f**king cheap and I will squeeze every penny out of the $600 i pay for my iphone5. I beat the crap out of many android users in terms of dollars per day for the phone. 4 years and it's still running. Some marriage don't even last that long.
And what the hell happens to those S3/4 or Note2/3 that came out around the same time? And all those china cheaps**t? Even the nexus 3/4 or Xperia whatever. You know what, I tell you what happened. Android ditched your sorry shift+244. Happy with your new $800 upgrade now? And let me give you some good news. Next year, you need to throw another $800 for a new upgrade. Who's f**king rich now?
And with the recent android nougat fiasco, those who bought the wrong phone better prepare to save and waste more money for a new hardware. Cause google doesn't give a f**k about their consumer's longevity. Buying more google product is good for them, not good for you, unless you're f**king rich. 80% of the world isn't and one guy only have 2 kidneys to sell. Google, apple. The same, f**king big evil company. A slave got to choose which master to bow to. One you're out of kidney, better start slicing your liver.
Back to my old iphone. Yes, it's a bit slow and sluggish cause Mr Gordon Moore says so. But there's a workaround. Don't upgrade to the latest and greatest apple software cause those will f**k up your phone. That's how apple cheat you into buying their new phone. Apple will eventually fix their software to work better on older hardware. That's the beauty of it, so upgrade later. But for those who clicked update now, you've been brainwashed into thinking your iphone sucked and you need to buy a new one.
Back to the battery thing. Take your phone out of it's case now and put in on a flat surface. Try to spin it. If it does, then your battery is most likely already months pregnant cause you f**ked it up that much. Go get it replaced before it goes note 7. Don't tell me I didn't warn your sorry shift+244.
This is my second iphone5, a free replacement unit cause the first one's battery f**k up so back it f**k up the whole phone. The screen pops up, the phone a bit out of shape and of course it didn't go note 7. Luckily. A free replacement unit, after 2 years. I FUBAR the phone and got one back for free. Cause they say it's their fault, a known battery problem. I heard samsung refused to replace or refund their note 7 amidst all those explosions until the recent global recall. Thumbs up for apple there.
How about other cheap phones? Well, it's like you're buying low, budget airfare. No refund, expensive to reschedule and there were so many s**tty addons you don't need. Some even have spyware that looked at your naked instagram photos. And don't even think google will fix these problems. They only fix those who buy their $800 phone. Not for the poor.
So, no warranty left, no free replacement in case it f**ked up and the fear it might go note 7. Time to DIY and fix it myself. Sidetrack, if you use something every day and it's broken, f**king fix it. I just hate those people with problems that they choose not to fix. Drive your car everyday, signal lights or brake lights broken, don't bother to fix. Office chair is squeaking, f**king WD40 it. What's wrong with people nowadays,
I got myself these set of tools and the replacement battery for $10. Try not to go to a store to get your battery replaced cause it'll cost you $20/$30 and you don't get to keep the cool set of tools. Look for me and buy me a cup of coffee and I'll do it for you. I'm helping you to save more money for your iphone7 so stop complaining.
Now the works. Opening up the screws to access the insides. These screws are f**king small and you really need to pay a huge attention not to f**k up the screw threads. No wonder those chinese assembling phones committed suicide at the factory making these things.
Opening up the phone and sure enough the battery is inflated, as you can see here. Inflated so fast like the inflation in my country.
Peeling the battery off is not a very easy job considering how much adhesive is used to secure the battery in place. And for christ sake, have to take it of gently to avoid it being punctured and go kapow on my face. But this is considered easy to remove compared to all those waterproofed phone. All those waterproofing tape is a nightmare. Thank you industry for making gadgets less and less repairable just so that people can smule in their showers.
Here's another look of the faulty battery at the top vs the new one. Noticed the tummy?
Putting everything back in place and test boot. Everything looks good. It turns on, no spark, no smoke and no funny smell. I get to keep my salary.
Well, here's a look of before and after the battery replacement. My phone is slim and looking great again. This would probably extend the life of my phone by another year or so and as long as it don't go note 7, I'll be seeing a lot more people wasting money buying new android phones in the meantime.
Lastly before I sign off. If you're offended by my extra harsh language in this post, you can go lick the teletubbies backside. I'm in a lot of stress trying to deliver BMWs to my bosses while what I'll probably get is a happy meal. So throwing a few f**ks over the internet makes my evening a bit better.
And I'm not sticking to iphone because I'm rich. Probably many who bought apple products are. But because it's worth my hard earned money. Many android phones are just a piece of sh*t. I owned 5 android devices and only 2 apple devices so I'm not a sh*tty apple fanboi. I used android more that you think and have solid fact to back up my claims. I'm just refraining myself from buying a $600/700 android device for many reasons you probably won't agree, you bias bloody apple hater.
If you're not happy with what I'm saying here, throw me your concern. I can give you loads of brainsh*t why android is f**king horrible. And apple fanboi's don't f**king lansi saying godly things about apple cause i will definitely f**k you up with all the sh*t apple is doing to your backside without you knowing,
And please don't get me started about electric cars. Wubba Lubba DUB DUB!
