Friday, January 6, 2017

Zer0's Tech Talk: Honest Review of My HP Laptop

Now.  I worked for an evil giant company that will create Skynet in the future that will end the world once the machine becomes aware and took over humanity.  I am always happy that this company provided their employees with top of the class laptops in order to achieve greatness.  That was until the infestation of HP laptops.

I am always an IBM/Lenovo guy.  Starting out with the T43 which is a nokia of a laptop but severely lacking of power due to being overly bastardized way beyond its life span.

I switched to the T400 after seriously begging to increase the horsepower of my daily driver in order to properly do my job.  The T400 is way ahead of it's time.  It operates flawlessly for 3 years and will continue going if not for the rise of the ultrabooks.  Those slim and mean laptops are just bloody genius.

I left my T400 for this babe called the X1 carbon and until today, it was the best ever laptop I ever used to do my work.

But the X1 was among the first few ultrabooks ever appear in the market.  First ever means it's not perfect.  Yes, the build and exterior is marvelous.  I did broke the flimsy hinge but apart from that, this macbook air alike is a rock.

But the downside is the internal.  Non upgrade-able SSD, non upgrade-able RAM, limited 1440x900 resolution are just a few murky things that makes me decide to severe my tie with this beauty after 3 years.  And that was the biggest mistake I ever made.

I was given the chance to experience a new batch of laptops that runs the all new 6th gen core processors and the shinny windows 10.  Sounds promising right?  It was exactly the time I accidentally burned my USB 3 port on my X1.  So a new hardware is all good right?

F**king wrong!

Because it's a f**king HP.

HP laptops has been plaguing my peers for ages.  I thought, it has been many generations and many opportunities for HP to improve.  The latest model shouldn't be that bad.  F**k wrong!  It's the same shit.

When I was handed the new machine, I was a bit excited.  But when I was asked to type in my password to begin data migration.  That's when the horror begins.

I loved tactile keyboards.  Lenovo's keyboard is excellent.  But when I typed on the HP, every keystroke is like touching spongebob's ass.  The keys are mushy.  The keyboard has a minor flex which is annoying and the hell with the stupid layout.

For weeks I am jumping to home when I did a typo and tried to backspace.  The arrow key is retarded.  There are no spacing between function keys ie. F4-F5 and F8-F9 should have a minor spacing in between, so my Alt+F4 will accidentally turned into something else.  The trackpoint is shit to use and the trackpad is slippery as hell.

One thing to note. Once you used a backlit keyboard, you can't go back.  Apparently HP is too cheapskate to plant a few LED to improve usability in poor lighting.  Hello, this is 2017!

The build quality weren't that good too.  I am a heavy typist and I am using a MX black switch at work.  That over 60g of force I smashed my keyboard is not doing well on the mushy flexing keyboard.

Then, there's the problem with the screen.  The hinge are f**king terrible that the screen is rattling uncontrollably when you bumped the table.

The HP that I'm using now is actually the second unit.  My first one lasted me less than a week because the hinge was so retarded that it cannot hold the screen in place.  This cause the screen to fall backwards and won't hold the optimal open laptop position.

The internals was decent.  An i5 skylake processor with 8GB of RAM, 160GB of M.2 SSD.

Battery was decent, lasting for about 6 hours.  That's not whole day so I'll be scrambling for charger in the afternoon if I was not on the brick in the morning.  The kind of average battery life is due to stupendous software running in the background that I cannot disable or remove.  Heatsink fan is spinning at high RPM at times due to these retarded software hogging the CPU time.

Some other annoyance are like wifi won't connect in timely manner after resuming from sleep, headphone jack are f**king broken, fingerprint scanner never worked and I was forced to type my overly complicated password every single time.

Recently, this HP has become a drunk sleeper that it takes forever to resume from sleep and sometimes it just gave up and ended up in BSOD.  So, I'm kind of good at recovering all my lost work and backing up all my stuff whenever possible.

HP UEFI engineers are probably the shittiest people ever.  Who the hell hardcorded a maximum volume buzzer beeps into their firmware update? I was forced to update my UEFI a few times with those stupid beeps and other people were like "Are you ok over there?".  And I was like "NP, it's just my f**king HP".

There are plenty more annoying fault about this stupid laptop.  And I was too lazy to list them all.

If you ask me if I will consider HP laptops again in the future.  Hell NO!  Never again.  I don't usually ban stuff but HP branded laptop will be forever in my blacklist.  Stop torturing humanity with your stupid product and go back to what you do best.  Make industrial grade printers.

And a note for you, reader who made it this far for my rant.  If you decide to cut cost and offer shit to your customers, remember this.  You might save a few dollars.  But the butterfly effect of your cheapness will cost millions of dollars of losses elsewhere.

Every single day, my valuable time at work is wasted recovering my lost work, reinitiate my debug and SSH or VNC setups. googling WTF is wrong with this shit and try to temporarily fix whatever crap that pops up so I can do my work.

Bad news is I'm stuck with this shit until 2019.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Hobby Talk: Model Kit Review, MG ZGMF-X10A Freedom Gundam 2.0

Probably the most anticipated kit of 2016.  The first kit of the CE century to get the 2.0 upgrade.

Why this kit
Talking about gundam seed, Kira Yamato and his imbalanced Freedom and Strike Freedom will come to mind.  I really have been holding back on getting either kit from 2004 and 2006.  They're kits from older gunpla generations and doesn't offer the details and mechanics unlike newer 201x kits.  Which leads to not so positive review from builders.

When this kit was announced during 2015 Gunpla expo world tour Japan, I was indeed very excited.

This is the first kit I ever pre-booked prior to the release, and my.. it's worth the long 12 years wait for the 2.0.

Kit Details
The Freedom 2.0 kit was released in April 2016, a D1 box kit with 18 runners and 353 parts. You also get 1 sheet of stickers and 1 sheet of dry transfer decals.  This kit is priced at RM 175.

Build / Difficulty
(Score: Neutral)
The build wasn't as fun as I thought.  Probably the after effect of building a more amazing Sinanju.  The build is quite easy and straight forward.  The plus side is you get to put together a quite impressive inner frame and testing out how the mechanic works during the build.

The kit is very-very panel lining heavy.  If you don't do panel lining, you're probably better off with a much simpler Freedom 1.0 kit or other colorful kits from the seed universe.  Panel line this kit up, you can directly see how much details were put into this kit, especially on the white armor.

Since this is not a ver ka kit, stickers and decals are not overwhelming but enough to cover the empty white areas.

The one concern I have during the build is that the inner frame doesn't feel very solid during the build.  There's quite similar feeling of building transformable kit like the Aegis and Fenice at certain parts of the body.  Let's see how it holds up when everything is put together.

Looks / Details
(Score: +2)
This is a fantastic looking kit with lots of details going into this kit.  The kit looks busy.  Huge V fins, huge waist skirts, huge backpacks.  I have done fair amount of panel lining on all my previous kits.  This kit tops even the great Nu.

Truthfully, freedom lacks in terms of color variation.  Less red and yellow compared to older Strike.  Blue, grey, white and bits of red all over the kit.  With the big wings folded up, the freedom doesn't look much different compared to other kits.  Spread those wings open... my god! It is an awesome looking kit!

(Score: +1)
You get a very well detailed shield, a beam rifle and 2 beam swords.  Again, not that colorful but has a lot of play-ability.  There are waist mounted rail gun and shoulder cannons but those aren't exactly accessories

Articulation / Pose ability
(Score: +2)
This is a poser's kit.  The inner frame is an engineering marvel.  No policaps means the joints are very tight to move, similar to the Sinanju but can hold its pose really well.  Do take care as to not break the fragile inner frame as reported by many builders.

Remember earlier I said about the frame being not solid enough?  Slap those white and blue armor on and it is solid as rock.  This kit is better than it's bigger brethren like the Nu or Sinanju in terms of absorbing shake and bumps.  Parts hold well together and is not falling off randomly.

The downside, it is very back heavy.  The kit always fall backwards when it is on its feet.  It's almost impossible to pose this kit on the ground with wings wide open.  But heck, Freedom is a space MS.  It's not meant to be grounded.  The box has an action base included so put it up in the air and you're in a treat to have this kit pose in whatever style you want.

Shelf presence
(Score: +1)
This kit is a bit taller than all other model kits from seed universe but it is still a dwarf to those big UC kits.  But thanks to the big wings, this kit promises you an awesome air show on your shelf.

(Score: +1)
There's a beam effect and ver ka sticker kit that can be purchased separately at RM150.  This will turn your Freedom into the full burst mode.  But putting these beam effect parts on, you'll be stuck with just one pose, of Kira going nuts.

Summary and Rating
(Total Score: +7)
The build for this kit isn't too exciting.  It's very well detailed but doesn't have the colors to outshine its competitors.  But despite that, opening the flaps of the big wings, all is forgiven.  You'll see how impressive the freedom looks.  This is a very solid, good looking kit and has a lot of gimmicks to boot.

Plus it's a very pose-able kit as well, providing that you utilize the action base.  The only thing I feel falls short of a perfect 2.0 kit is the absence of the individual articulated manipulators.

Pundit: This is a must have for Gundam Seed fans.  Until Bandai decided to release SF 2.0, this is the best Seed MG kit you can get.

Two other variants of the Freedom to choose from.
1) Strike Freedom (2006) - the upgraded freedom.  But the puke gold turned down most of SF fans.
2) Freedom 1,0 (2004) - there's basically no reason to get this one anymore unless you're really not into panel lining and not willing to fork out extra cash for the new kit.

Dalong's Review
Dalong's Score: 114

Up Next: RX-78-2 ver 3.0

Friday, October 21, 2016

Hobby Talk: Model Kit Review, MG MSN-06S Sinanju Anime Version

The red comet of Zeon.  One of the most highly rated model kit.

Why this kit
I have long heard about the awesomeness of this kit.  But I have not been paying much attention to mono eyed MS until recently when I built the legendary Zaku II.  And just like that, I have had it in my backlog.

Originally I intended to keep this after completing the Freedom 2.0.  But 2 weeks before the new kit arrived, on a long weekend where my fiber broadband was down, I opened the box and started sweating.

Kit Details
The Sinanju kit was released in March 2013, a huge D4 box kit with 23 runners and 477 parts. You also get an option of 1 sheet of black gold stickers or gold water slide, 1 sheet of sticker decals and 1 sheet of dry transfer decals .  This kit is priced at RM 270.

Build / Difficulty
(Score: +2)
Building this kit is a lot of fun.  The kit is not that complicated but contains a lot of curves and rounds, adding challenges to the build.  Panel lining is on the minimal side as most of the curves and angles are well detailed with vents, thrusters and gold Zeon stickers.

This kit is pretty sticker heavy.  I used the gold Zeon stickers instead of the water slide (the latter is way better) because I'm too lazy to work on the water slides.  The kit isn't too heavy on decals.  If you're keen on decals, you can opt for the ver Ka which is essentially the same kit but with a lot more decals.

Looks / Details
(Score: +2)
Sinanju looked fantastic.  One of the best looking kit I ever built.  It is also very well detailed.  Separate yellow vents throughout the body, lots and lots of thrusters and the red looks magnificent.

(Score: +1)
Weapons department.  If you get the Anime version, which I did, you'll get an additional bazooka on top of a beam rifle with grenade launcher, a huge shield, 2 beam saber and 2 beam axe.  There's a bunch a playability with the weapons as you can combine 2 or more weapons to become a super weapon but from the looks department, the weapons are a bit lacking in color choices.  Just all grey to be honest.

Articulation / Pose ability
(Score: +1)
Big and bulky is the first impression.  But the sheer size doesn't stop the pose-ability of this kit.  The movements are excellent.

When building this monster, I can feel every part of this MS is rock solid.  But things started to go a bit wrong when everything is put together.  As a complete MS, several part of the kit feels shaky and does want to fall apart.  The spring loaded pipes at the waist pops up a lot.  And several other connections like arm to shoulder pops up a lot.

This is among a few kit that does not have policap joints.  That makes moving the joints a bit hard.  Yes, if you like posing then the pose will stick but the joints feels too tight at hips, knees and shoulder makes it difficult to pose.  And you'll need to apply more force trying to move these joints and once you do that, things started to pop off.  Other parts like ankle or wrist, on the other hand feels too soft.

One major complain about this kit is the waist connection.  The waist is weak... extremely weak for a rock solid kit like this.

The kit is well balanced right until you slap the big backpack on and it started to feel a bit back heavy.  And having a weak waist doesn't help at all.

Shelf presence
(Score: +2)
One, this kit is big.  A regular master grade kit typically measures around 17 cm in height.  The Unicorn Gundam in destroy mode measures 20 cm.  This kit towers all of them at 21 cm.  Only Nu Gundam ver Ka can match it in size but the Sinanju also has bulk and huge ass weapons.  This kit is a Shaquille O'Neal to all other MG kits.  But probably just Yao Ming, cause there are kits like Sazabi or The O that is more Shaq.

Two, it's red, black and gold.  The colors of destruction is really eye catching.

(Score: Neutral)
Not much to add for this kit.

Summary and Rating
(Total Score: +8)
If you're looking for a  kit that looked good and badass straight out of the box, this is the kit.  It is well detailed, but requires a lot more effort to build and to pose.  There are a few weakness such as some small parts tends to pop up a lot, when you move the really tight joints the red armor tends to pop up a lot, disturbingly weak waist considering this kit is quite back heavy.

But despite that, this is a very good looking, fun to build, a joy to look at kit.

Pundit: I can't forgive how Sinanju was defeated in the anime but for the MG kit, it is absolutely recommended for serious builders.

Two other variants of the Sinanju to choose from.
1) Sinanju ver Ka (2008) - exactly same as this one but with lots more decals.
2) Sinanju Stein (2013) - a white gundam-ish looking Sinanju.

Dalong's Review
Dalong's Score: 112

Up Next: Freedom 2.0

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Zer0's Tech Talk: That Expensive Smartphone People Buy

Now that Google has announced their latest and greatest Pixel smartphone, buyers are slapped with a very hard choice of which religion camp to invest in.

Google Nexus has always been a very good choice for users who opted to choose a stock android experience at a very reasonable price.  But the Pixel changes the story.  It's basically a Google's iphone equivalent.  Pixel is exactly one overpriced phone that an iphone already is for ages.

Android fans are now given their test of faith.  Their years of making fun of apple's religion is over.  Would a self proclaimed apple hater or android hardcore fans swallow the bullet and splutter his/her guts to buy what Google is selling to him/her?  We'll find out.

If you're still living under a rock....

Google's Pixel is priced exactly where all the bad boys are.  Here's the breakdown.

Pixel 32GB/128GB is $649/$749
Pixel XL 32GB/128GB is $769/$869

Does the price looks familiar to you?  Yes! It's the iphone7's price.  It's the Samsung Galaxy's price.  Android fan's argument of spending less for more is now invalid.

So the conclusion of the day.  You want something good, you got to pay.  Like Jeremy Clarkson says, there's no such thing as cheap and cheerful.  There's only cheap and nasty or expensive and cheerful.

Now, I am eyeing the smartphone market for a while cause my old faithful iphone is at the penultimate year before it'll officially EOL next year.  So if you're on the market of buying the best smartphone in the market, read on.  I'll try not to be bias.

I am going to group the choices into 3 categories.  Apple, Pixel and Samsung.

The reason, Apple, cause it's apple.  People will compare everything to the apple smartphone.

Pixel, cause it's the Google's golden child.  It's used to be Nexus, but Nexus is no more.

And Samsung, cause Samsung is probably the best 3rd party android device.  Yes, there's LG, HTC, Motorola and so on but those are just stripped version of the galaxy.  So it's essentially what feature you want, at which price point.  Samsung has everything, that's why it's the top of the line premium 3rd party android.  Remove the curved display, you'll get the Moto Z or the LG V20.  Remove the aluminium unibody, you get something else.  You get the idea.

Also note that all price are approximated in US dollars.  It should be priced around the same price range plus tax in your respective currency.

The smaller sibling. Starts at ~$650, you'll get the 32GB version of iphone7, galaxy s7 and pixel.  A $100 bump each time for additional storage or the s7 edge.  Price topped at ~$850.

The larger sibling. Starts at ~750, you'll get the 32GB version of iphone7+, note7 and pixel XL.  Again, a $100 bump for additional storage.  Price topped at ~$950.

In case you want to splash those hard earned money, you'll need to be damn sure what you bought is well worth it.  So here's my thoughts and comparison of all the available choices.

1. Design
This is subjective.  People can buy smartphones for the aesthetics alone.  That's why gold or diamond plated smartphones exist.  If you pay that much money, you have to tell yourself what you bought looks damn good.  But the choice of design boils down to whether you want the smaller or larger variant of the phone.  Smaller for easier handling, larger... cause bigger is better right?

2. Power and performance
All 3 are powered by top of the line SOC.  So processing power is not a question here.  Comparing A10 fusion with snapdragon 821 is like comparing s class Mercedes and 7 series BMW.  Both are top class, the difference are minute.

The other side of power, the battery.  All 3 have a decent battery that will last you for about a day.  All 3 have rapid charge.  Apple does not officially say their iphone has quick charge but we all know you can use the ipad charger.  The only difference between the 3 is that Samsung have wireless charging.  But please be reminded that almost 99% of smartphones out there doesn't have wireless charging so that's a premium you pay for getting a samsung device.

3. Repair-ability
The processing power should able to last you for many years but the battery might not.  A lithium ion battery's life span averaging 2 years though excessive usage and abuse.

So the repair-ability of the phone is also very important.  Do checkout the ifixit channel on youtube who did teardown and repairs of modern smartphones.  So you'll know how complicated the surgery procedure on your phone is and the likely hood of  the phone surviving the knife, and screwdrivers.

Apple is scoring better in this department.  We'll find out how Pixel fare on the repair-ability.

4. The Display
Big win for android camp for the display department.  All larger models is having 1440p display while the plus model for iphone still behind with 1080p panel.  Apple fanbois are defending saying your eyes can't differentiate anything above 400ppi.  Well, who starts all the retina display argument?

Of course I would love having more pixels but as a trade off, you'll need more juice to power more pixels.  Thus the larger battery capacity that last no longer than iphone.

All these displays are doing a very good job.  They're vibrant, bright, colors are very accurate.  What differentiate the display between these competitors are the gimmicks they offer.  Apple has the 3D touch, while Samsung has curved edges, always on display and s-pen for note models.  And pixel has, well it has a display.  Suddenly the high ppi pixel feels a bit too normal.

But those 1440p display are very future proof as they're VR ready.  Not that I care of hooking a chalkboard eraser on your face but VR is not a matured technology.  It's expensive, it doesn't have a lot of contents to go with, plus you look stupid with that thing slapped on your face.

5. The Storage
Android users bragged about expandable storage.  Right until Google shit on their face.  But many android manufacturers are bringing back the option, which is great.

Apple offers 32GB as a base model and can be upsized to 128GB and 256GB,  The only one here that offers the whooping 256GB at a whooping $950.

Pixel offers 32GB and 128GB models and offset the need for 256GB by offering unlimited online photo and video storage for pixel owners.  Good if your internet connection is fast.

Samsung and most 3rd party android doesn't offer such large internal storage.  Their range topping note7 has 64GB.  But they provide expandable storage.  Micro SD cards are pretty cheap, ~$50 for 128GB. But do take note that the access speed to SD are slower compared to internal flash and they are prone to broke down.

6. The Camera
These 3 models probably has the best cameras in the smartphone business.  Pixel claims to have the best of them all.  But we need to wait for a few days for real life test to pop up in youtube.

iphone7+ is the only big 3 with dual camera lens.  Other models like Huawei P9 and LG V20 has it as well.  I'm expecting more 2017 flagships to adopt dual lens setup.  If dual lens is your thing, then there aren't many choices as of now.  Still, all flagship phones takes very decent images with their camera.  Nothing to divide here.

7.  The software
Software is a hot topic.  People debate the open-ness of android vs the restrictive ios.  But both OS has their pro's and cons.  ios can do some stuff better than android, and vice versa.

The real loser here is the 3rd party android.  Samsung's touchwiz, HTC's sense, Huawei's emotion... all are just another layer of bloat-ness to android.  Plus all the bloatware that you probably could not remove.  That's why vanilla android is so good.

Let's take a moment of silence to remember the passing of nexus.

8. The software updates
Now, another topic of software is the length of support.  For apple, the average software support for an iphone is 5 years.  That means if you purchase iphone7 now with ios10, you can expect to enjoy updates and enhancement on your device up until ios14.  This is a very big win for apple compared to android.

Speaking about the devil.  Android's software support is a bit shorter.  3 years for flagships and 2 years for lesser models.  So if you bought a pixel with nougat now, you can expect to receive further 2 updates of O and P dessert.  Nexus 5 won't get nougat, Nexus 6 will most likely won't get android O.  Nexus 6 owners, fingers crossed.

If you decided not to splash money on flagship androids, you will probably get 1 major update, some minor updates and then you're on your own.  xda developers are probably your best bet but don't expect everything to work out of the custom ROM.

The problem is fragmentation. iphone users can get the latest ios as soon as it's announced.  Although really not recommended.  Android, nexus/pixel owner maybe 3-4 weeks after it's announced.  3rd party android, probably 6 months after.

You probably asked why software update is so important.  Yes, getting latest and greatest features are great.  What's the point of Google making a big fuzz about Nougat if mass majority of the world won't get to enjoy it?

The better reason is security.  You must have heard of stagefright.  If you don't, shame on you.  Stagefight should have evolved the industry in delivering security updates to android devices.  Should have. But as of now, it looks like a major failure.  You got to think twice logging into your bank account from these devices.

9. The conclusion
So in the end, none of these phones are superior to the other.

Apple probably have the best ecosystem but their hardware are average at best with a few nifty features.

3rd party android devices always wins on the hardware department.  When apple rumors comes out on what is coming to their next iphone, they're the first to release a phone with the said feature.  Force touch, dual camera, fingerprint scanner, retina scanner (rumored) are just some of them.  The downside, is the software department.  Fragmentation.  Bloatware.  Un-optimized.  Android has been hit by the same problem for years with no closure in sight.

Nexus/Pixel devices on the other hand provides the best android experience.  No bloatware, first in line for new software upgrades and the lots that Nexus owners are enjoying.  But bad news, it's now priced like an iphone.

I was actually expecting the pixel to retain the current pricing scheme or at least having a super souped up spec like triple camera, 4K display, hologram or tourbillion when priced like that.  But well, Google turns out to be just another apple.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Zer0's Trash Talk: Battery Problem, not a Problem

If you owned a smart device, you probably have already experienced one or more battery problems.  If you don't, you can go kill yourself cause what on earth are you doing in 2016 without this f**king affordable technology?

Battery.  Technology's worst enemy.  Moore's law says the number of transistor in a square inch of an IC doubles every 18 months.  Processors got better, graphics got better, storage got f**king huge and cheap but batteries, batteries always stays the same.  Cause there's nothing bout that battery anyone bothers changing.  It only get bigger and bigger in capacity but still only last you for about a day.

Well, Android s**theads always argue that their $900 device got fast charging, wireless charging, kung fu kame hame ha charging that gay apple users doesn't have.  Hell, you paid $900 for a piece of junk so you better have fast charging for that big shift+244 battery, (insert yo momma joke here) or you'll be so f**king cool stuck to the wall whole day while the screen your eyes can't tell the difference and all the s**tty bloatware drains all the juice.  I love samsung stock app, says no one ever.

I don't know why apple doesn't want to take the credit for fast charging cause iphones have fast charging ever since ipad was launch.  Long before samsung and rest of android army brags about it.  All apple worshipers know, just use the ipad charger, or just plug into that 2.1A port on your power bank.

But we all know the more fast charging you use, the nearer the battery is to hell.  Batteries over time bound to f**k up.  Some phone f**ked up faster than others, like the f**king note 7.  Holding less charges, drains faster and faster, starts to swell and buldge, and worst goes f**king note 7 on your shift+244.  And fast charging speeds up that process, by a lot.

And please stop saying iphone is for the rich.  Yes, it's a lot more expensive than most of s**tty android phones out there.  But this thing f**king last, like a duracell bunny on viagra.  Cause I'm f**king cheap and I will squeeze every penny out of the $600 i pay for my iphone5.  I beat the crap out of many android users in terms of dollars per day for the phone.  4 years and it's still running.  Some marriage don't even last that long.

And what the hell happens to those S3/4 or Note2/3 that came out around the same time?  And all those china cheaps**t?  Even the nexus 3/4 or Xperia whatever.  You know what, I tell you what happened.  Android ditched your sorry shift+244.  Happy with your new $800 upgrade now?  And let me give you some good news.  Next year, you need to throw another $800 for a new upgrade.  Who's f**king rich now?

And with the recent android nougat fiasco, those who bought the wrong phone better prepare to save and waste more money for a new hardware.  Cause google doesn't give a f**k about their consumer's longevity.  Buying more google product is good for them, not good for you, unless you're f**king rich.  80% of the world isn't and one guy only have 2 kidneys to sell.  Google, apple.  The same, f**king big evil company.  A slave got to choose which master to bow to.  One you're out of kidney, better start slicing your liver.

Back to my old iphone.  Yes, it's a bit slow and sluggish cause Mr Gordon Moore says so.  But there's a workaround.  Don't upgrade to the latest and greatest apple software cause those will f**k up your phone.  That's how apple cheat you into buying their new phone.  Apple will eventually fix their software to work better on older hardware.  That's the beauty of it, so upgrade later.  But for those who clicked update now, you've been brainwashed into thinking your iphone sucked and you need to buy a new one.

Back to the battery thing.  Take your phone out of it's case now and put in on a flat surface.  Try to spin it.  If it does, then your battery is most likely already months pregnant cause you f**ked it up that much. Go get it replaced before it goes note 7.  Don't tell me I didn't warn your sorry shift+244.

This is my second iphone5, a free replacement unit cause the first one's battery f**k up so back it f**k up the whole phone.  The screen pops up, the phone a bit out of shape and of course it didn't go note 7.  Luckily.  A free replacement unit, after 2 years.  I FUBAR the phone and got one back for free.  Cause they say it's their fault, a known battery problem.  I heard samsung refused to replace or refund their note 7 amidst all those explosions until the recent global recall.  Thumbs up for apple there.

How about other cheap phones?  Well, it's like you're buying low, budget airfare.  No refund, expensive to reschedule and there were so many s**tty addons you don't need.  Some even have spyware that looked at your naked instagram photos.  And don't even think google will fix these problems.  They only fix those who buy their $800 phone.  Not for the poor.

So, this is my second iphone5.  I thought they fixed the battery problem on the new batch since they admitted it previously.  But no, hell no.  It doesn't make sense economically.  My battery still got pregnant cause I didn't practice safe charging.  We all know RMA process is a pain in the butt where you ended up using back your nokia.  And apple says no more replacement for this unit for battery issue.

So, no warranty left, no free replacement in case it f**ked up and the fear it might go note 7.  Time to DIY and fix it myself.  Sidetrack, if you use something every day and it's broken, f**king fix it.  I just hate those people with problems that they choose not to fix.  Drive your car everyday, signal lights or brake lights broken, don't bother to fix.  Office chair is squeaking, f**king WD40 it.  What's wrong with people nowadays,

I got myself these set of tools and the replacement battery for $10.  Try not to go to a store to get your battery replaced cause it'll cost you $20/$30 and you don't get to keep the cool set of tools.  Look for me and buy me a cup of coffee and I'll do it for you.  I'm helping you to save more money for your iphone7 so stop complaining.

Now the works.  Opening up the screws to access the insides.  These screws are f**king small and you really need to pay a huge attention not to f**k up the screw threads.  No wonder those chinese assembling phones committed suicide at the factory making these things.

Opening up the phone and sure enough the battery is inflated, as you can see here.  Inflated so fast like the inflation in my country.

Peeling the battery off is not a very easy job considering how much adhesive is used to secure the battery in place.  And for christ sake, have to take it of gently to avoid it being punctured and go kapow on my face.  But this is considered easy to remove compared to all those waterproofed phone.  All those waterproofing tape is a nightmare.  Thank you industry for making gadgets less and less repairable just so that people can smule in their showers.

Here's another look of the faulty battery at the top vs the new one.  Noticed the tummy?

Putting everything back in place and test boot.  Everything looks good.  It turns on, no spark, no smoke and no funny smell.  I get to keep my salary.

Well, here's a look of before and after the battery replacement.  My phone is slim and looking great again.  This would probably extend the life of my phone by another year or so and as long as it don't go note 7, I'll be seeing a lot more people wasting money buying new android phones in the meantime.

Lastly before I sign off.  If you're offended by my extra harsh language in this post, you can go lick the teletubbies backside.  I'm in a lot of stress trying to deliver BMWs to my bosses while what I'll probably get is a happy meal.  So throwing a few f**ks over the internet makes my evening a bit better.

And I'm not sticking to iphone because I'm rich.  Probably many who bought apple products are.  But because it's worth my hard earned money.  Many android phones are just a piece of sh*t.  I owned 5 android devices and only 2 apple devices so I'm not a sh*tty apple fanboi.  I used android more that you think and have solid fact to back up my claims.  I'm just refraining myself from buying a $600/700 android device for many reasons you probably won't agree, you bias bloody apple hater.

If you're not happy with what I'm saying here, throw me your concern.  I can give you loads of brainsh*t why android is f**king horrible.  And apple fanboi's don't f**king lansi saying godly things about apple cause i will definitely f**k you up with all the sh*t apple is doing to your backside without you knowing,

And please don't get me started about electric cars. Wubba Lubba DUB DUB!